My name is Katherine, and I was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic melanoma during COVID in October 2020.
I spent a lot of time outdoors in the summer months during my childhood and adolescence, all the way through into adulthood. I visit my dermatologist regularly and have had some precancerous and basal cells removed over the years. I’ve been married for almost 41 years, I have 2 children (who both now have spouses), a beautiful grandson, loving family, and great friends. In June 2020, I retired from a pharmaceutical company where I had done clinical research for 24 years, the last several years of which I worked in the oncology therapy area. Never did I think that just a few months after retiring, I would be on the other side, as a patient.
In late spring 2020, I had a small lump under my belly button investigated and was told it was just a cyst. From August to October 2020, I began noticing abnormal lumps in my breasts, which were confirmed through a mammogram and biopsies as melanoma. In November 2020, further tests revealed multiple tumours throughout my body, including two very small lesions in my brain. From there, I began monthly treatments of immunotherapy with CT scans and brain scans every 3 months and my journey as a patient began.
I will never forget the day we were told of my diagnosis, yet at the same time it’s still a blur. Soo many emotions surfaced – fear, confusion, grief and despair. We weren’t prepared for this. This turn of events was not how I envisioned my retirement with my husband. I knew all too well what the diagnosis meant and I wanted to start treatment right away…I wanted to live. Depression and anxiety set in thinking about what the future would hold and the possibility of the end of my life. The thought of not being able to see and enjoy my husband, children, beautiful grandchild, family and friends was causing me such profound sadness. It was at this time that I also realized that cancer not only affects the person diagnosed but their family and caregivers. I hated the idea of what my diagnosis may be doing to them. My husband has been my rock and sounding board. My children and their spouses have been very present, accommodating, understanding and attentive, in-spite of what they were/are going through themselves. Extended family and friends have also been very supportive with lots of visits, food, and calls to make sure that not only myself, but my husband and children were coping and well supported.
My oncologist and her team, all the staff at Juravinski Cancer Centre, and my GP have been amazing. I’ve always felt like I was in good hands, and medically speaking, never felt alone. They were not only treating my disease, but also treating ME, the person with the diagnosis. I was provided with plenty of support and resources and joined a 12-week mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for cancer group and was referred to Melanoma Canada. I have benefited from the monthly support group immensely. What it offers – a safe group to share information and ask questions – is invaluable.
Because of these resources, I now have the tools to help reduce my anxiety when it surfaces. Exercising when possible and eating healthily (thanks to my husband… I hate cooking) feels GOOD. Trying to appreciate things for what they are, rest when I need too, and pay attention to what my body is telling me also helps me to cope. I sometimes feel like I want my old self back, but I also know that this is the new me. I am grateful to be alive, grateful for my treatment (thanks to research, brilliant oncologists and nurses), grateful for my husband, children and spouses, grandchild, family, friends, and the resources available for support. All of this has helped me navigate through this journey. It certainly does take a village!
