Being a caregiver to someone diagnosed with melanoma may be the most rewarding experience you’ll
ever encounter. A time to truly support your loved one and discover attributes you never knew you
possessed. It can be an opportunity to find closeness that you never knew existed.
It can also be a time where your world is turned upside down, where you’re thrown into an unfamiliar
medical system, and a time of many challenges and much uncertainty.
Health care providers may unintentionally miss giving caregivers the time and attention that is so
deserved. Have you ever felt invisible? Know that the care and support you provide is crucial.
As a social worker at the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre in Toronto, and as a caregiver to my twin
sister who was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma 19 years ago, below are some insights that may be
helpful, learned through personal experience and from families I am privileged to work with.
• Be informed – ask questions. Be persistent in getting information and resources
• It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day caregiving tasks. Create quality time together; watch favorite
movies, laugh, go for car rides, travel if your loved one is able, make memories
• You may find that taking time away just for you, surprisingly, also provides relief for your loved one
• Try to stay in the moment and avoid getting too far ahead with “what if…” questions
• Be honest about your feelings and needs with others. Accept offers of help, even when you don’t know
what you need. Why drive to an appointment while stressed when you may have a friend eager to help
in some small way? Looking back, I recall being so overwhelmed that I had no idea what I needed. Share
these feelings with your support circle
• Connect with resources at your Cancer Centre and in the community. Explore how a social worker, nurse,
dietitian, spiritual care leader, pharmacist might help you now or in the future
• Consider having difficult conversations sooner than later. Taking care of things like Power of Attorney
and wills in advance may alleviate stress down the road
• There may be moments where other’s efforts to help rubs you the wrong way. This can be especially
challenging when emotions are running high and you feel depleted. Talk about this situation with your
loved one. You may need to gently confront a behaviour that is not helpful and identify what would be
more supportive to you
If you feel like you’re running on empty, contact MNC – MNC can help to refuel your tank. The organization
offers: phone support, online resources, peer support, patient and caregiver education sessions, support
groups and opportunities to connect with other caregivers.
Helping a melanoma patient makes you a true melanoma hero – view the ‘Melanoma Hero’ video on our
website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ55UJU0_BY At MNC, we celebrate and support you!
Wishing you all the best in your care giving endevours. I have never heard a caregiver say in retrospect
“I cared too much”.
Below is a link to a comprehensive guide to caregiving:
https://www.saintelizabeth.com/getmedia/…/Caregiver-Compass-Online.pdf.aspx
By Margo Kennedy MSW RSW,
Social Worker, Psychosocial Oncology and
Palliative Care Program and member of
MNC’s Board of Directors
